No. 10 - Stomached
This has got to be the worse excuse in the entire world totally not desperate sounding nor creative but the thing is, employers today still buys this crap...If i was an employer and an employee comes up to me and ask for a Half-Day Leave becoz he has a stomached, hell, I would ask him to bring his damn lappy into the freaking toilet bowl and work from the toilet...Very risky and not worth getting screwed over for using such a lousy excuse..Not to mention the bad impression you might give to your current employer as well...
No. 9 - Migraine and Sore Throat
Yet, another classic excuse most frequently used by employees today. Why you may ask?? There is no bloody way for an employer to tell whether or not an employee is suffer from a sever migraine unless he or she is ineed really the world's lousiest actor. All you have to do is to constantly rub the sides of ur head multiple times while pretending to do your work and MAKE SURE your boss notices it. Chances are your boss will enquire how are you feeling and if he does, there is at least an 80% probability that you will get that half-day leave of yours..However, should your boss happens to be the meanest assholic bitch in the organization he or she wont even give a rats ass about it..Risky choice of excuse as well...
No. 8 - Need to Prepare for a Big Family Reunion Dinner
I would rate this excuse as fairly boleh tahan lar as it goes way back when we are just still little puny babies, that we are so often told to retain family values irregardless of what happens. Same goes to your employers, no matter how cruel they may be on the surface, somewhere deep deep down inside lies a human who cares for their family and usually places great emphasize on family reunions. Chances of your half day leave being approved is 50-50, and the probability of you getting your half-day leave increases by 30% if there happens to be a festival just around the corner.
No. 7 - School Open Day or Result Collection Day
A superb excuse for employees who work on a part time basis or employees who have kids studying in at least a primary school (Parents with kids studying in tadika are least likely able to apply for half day leave owing to the fact that you dont come across tadika's with HUGE open day or result collection day). Although at this moment we can consider ourselves as a tech-savy society, the majority of older people still believes that results are still printed on paper and students would have to collect themselves on that damn cursed day itself. This people will never realise that we, tertiary students have what we called the INTERNET and we dont necessarily have to collect the results on that day itself. But employees do beware, if your bosses are so freaking free and decides to call up your education organization, you can kiss your sorry ass goodbye...In addition, an employee is usally entitled to use this excuse only once half yearly...Heck, I am sure no one is dumb enough to use the same excuse 2 weeks later again...
No.6 - Personal Emergency
This excuse is in a way quite risky as employee usually uses this when they have no other alternatives. Personal emergency to a boss could mean anything under the sky from fatigue to an appointment with a beauty saloon to get your weekly pedicure, and most employers will doubt how emergency is `the' emergency. However, if executed in the right way your boss will never ever question you about it ever again. Firstly, act that you have something troubling in your mind and again make sure your boss notices it (should your table be place directly in front of your boss, EVEN BETTER, exaggerate your movements when working while taking pauses every few minutes). The moment you caught your boss taking a peep at you from their table, head on to the second step which is to walk over at a slow pace and make sure your facial expression spells `I AM TROUBLED'. Remember, there should be no hesitations when performing the above acts for your bosses are more than capable to read your body language in which will than put you in some serious shit!!
No. 5 - There is a Death in the Family
Unless you can remember all the deaths in your family, don't ever use this excuse for if you are caught, your employer will instantaneously lose all their trust in you. In addition, most employers would want their employees to produce a copy of the death certificate before allowing you to take leave. Yes, you can say that is a distant family that pass away thus is very awkward for you to ask a copy of their death cert, but this action will cast a shadow of doubt on the employers and ruined any possible chance of a promotion in the near future. I had once seen an employee at my workplace whose mother died TWICE, lucky for him he was an extremely good actor and he just told his employer that his father had 3 wives, 2 Divorce and his actual Mum. Note that he said 3 wives instead of 2, so that he entitled to take another half-day leave if his last mum were to perished...God Bless Him for being so spontaneous.
This excuse will definitely work as the last thing an employer needs is for his employer to be sick for more than a day. They will rather have you rest half a day than allow you to take a week off due to sickness, they simply just cant afford to have work piling up as should there be any complain it is their head on the chopping block. Although extremely effective, try not to overuse it as if you do, employers are more than happy to terminate you as they are running on a deficit having you around...Imagine being paid full day when you only work half day...
A superb excuse to totally catch employers offguard and an almost definite guarantee of a half day leave. Ask yourself, how many times have you actually heard the phrase `My girlfriend is pregnant' being spoken out in our society today. I would say approximately 90% of us have never encountered this situation before and I have yet to get to the second part of the phrase yet. The best part about this excuse, you dont even have to be in a relationship to use it. And should your employer enquire about this girlfriend of yours, just tell them that she wish for this issue to be kept private and confidential and you can only tell that much to them out of respect. I betcha they would never dare question anything else. Point to note, you ought to do a little research on where you can bring your `girlfriend' for abortion to further strengthen your excuse.
No. 2 - I am suffering from CRAMPS
Yet another superb excuse but unfortunately only the females have 100% rights to use it and should there be a guy attempting it, get a freaking pair of scissors and cut off his dam curse little brother. Not only employers but practically no one can argue about it. Besides, the topic itself is embarassing that nobody will challenge it, not in our typical Malaysian Culture definitely. I guess is one of those things than men like us will have absolutely no clue about and women can always sympathize with. However, dont over use it like other excuses and never use it to get sympathy; as to us MEN, it is an irritation to hear a girl whining about her cramps..
No. 1 - My Friend Had an Accident and is not Looking Good!!!
The Best of the Best...Most creative excuse I have ever encountered and although it was poorly acted but yet the two musketeers manage to get away with it. All it took for this two musketeers to get their half-day leaves was to tell their kind hearted boss that their best friend got into a `really bad' accident coupled with one of the musketeers electrifying, drowsy puppy eyes and another musketeer whose outer appearance seem so angelic and holy like; the boss instantly said yes...And off they go skipping happily to see their friend, the CINEMA TICKET COUNTER BOY...You have got to hand it to them to pull something so supposingly tragic with the slightest effort...Future employers, 2 lessons ought to be learn from this two musketeers...Firstly, never ever look into the employee's eyes when they are explaining something to you for you might just fall into their electrifying drowsy puppy eyes. Second, never ever judge a book by its cover..Now, I am adamant that you guys are curious to know who are this two amazingly `talented' musketeers
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Well Guess what, Lets just leave it hanging here shall we.....Somethings are just best kept in the dark...A big thanks to the people who put so much effort into creating new excuses so as to attain a half-day leave approval...You guys know who you are !!! XOXO
You Know You Want To Know
Durwin Tan
3 comments:
hahahaha. good one bro. btw, how bout a cbox to make your readers' lives easier. ahahahahaha.
Sigh, i tried adding the chatbox but it seems to be failing me....I almost lost my current template because of my stupidity!!
I agree on the cbox bra, so much better for the site. Thank all!
From your Acai Bud's
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